Roger brought a quote home from work and shared it with me today. He knew it was exactly along the lines I've been thinking lately! I want to make a cross-stitch of this saying, or write it in lipstick on my bathroom mirror so I can remember and internalize it. I guess I'll just post it on my blog.
"Never try to compel others to change; leave them free to change naturally and orderly because they want to; and they will want to when they find that your change was worthwhile.
"To inspire in others a desire to change for the better is truly noble; but this you can do only by leaving them alone, and becoming more noble yourself."
Christian D Larson (1874-1954)
Mastery of Self
I think it takes a lot of courage to give someone the space they need to make a change, but I can see how it works. For example, Roger has lost over 150 pounds in less than two years. He would never think of trying to convince someone else to loose weight, but people ask him all the time what he is doing. Several people have found motivation to make changes in their own lives because he has shown by example that such changes can be worthwhile.
A dear friend of mine has a son who has cancer. I have been astounded with the poise and faith that she has shown as she has faced such a difficult time. I asked her how she could be so strong. She said she had been able to increase her participation in activities that strengthened her spirit just before her son's illness was diagnosed. I am amazed at the power that simple conversation had in my life. I have increased my participation in activities that strengthen my spirit because I witnessed that her changes had truly strengthened her.
I have noticed that when a change is working in someone's life, it becomes contagious. Other people catch it too. It get's really exciting. It's fun to associate with a group of people who are enthused about changing their own lives but are willing to trust you to make the changes you feel are actually worthwhile.
I think of blogging as a big party. I am so grateful that fellow bloggers let me see a little bit of their lives. I love reading about the things they are doing, learning and changing. I have become more politically minded (which is a BIG deal for me). I have more desire to be a better writer and a better cook. I want to hang cute vinyl crafts in my home. I have made changes in my life without even thinking about it because of my sweet blogger friends. Thank you. This is fun.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Thank you for having a blog, too!!
ReplyDeleteYou're welcome Katie.
ReplyDeleteThanks for inviting everyone to be part of the 6th ward blog. That is part of what finally got me to do one. Not that my life is interesting to everyone, but that I have people I care about an want to keep in touch with. Because of that I have actually gone outside my comfort zone to join this blog "thing". It actually IS fun :o)
ReplyDeleteBeth
ReplyDeleteI think it's clever that you went outside your comfort zone with a blog called "Mama's Pajamas." The title of your blog makes me imagine myself curled up in a soft blanket on your sofa, sipping hot cocoa while listening to stories of your adventures. You've gone out of your comfort zone to create a place where I feel very comfortable. Thanks, I'm glad you joined this blog "thing"/party.
I needed that. Since Christmas I've been very aware of things going on in my family that I would never have known if I hadn't seen for myself. It's made me quite cynical and ugly. The first thing I thought when I read the quote was, "yeah, and it goes the other way too. People can change for the worse and drag everyone else down with them."
ReplyDeleteBut now thinking harder, I've seen a change in my mum as she made the goal to not let herself become consumed with the stupidity and that's helped me.
I guess I sound like I'm blethering now but I can't string the words together (for once) to explain myself.
I'm very grateful for that quote, thanks for posting it and Thanks Roger for sharing.
Laura
ReplyDeleteI think that’s a really good example. I wonder if your mum’s goal would have been harder for you to adopt if she had tried to compel you to believe the same way, aside from the possibility that trying to compel family members to change was in direct opposition with the goal itself. I’m proud of your mum. I think her goal shows a lot of courage and trust as well as sensibility.
I think when we try to compel others to change we might tell ourselves it is out of love, but I wonder if it is more out of fear. Just wondering.
I also liked what you said about it working the other way. I think you are right there too. I think we need lots of examples in our lives of people who are making changes for the better and who are willing to share enough of themselves with us that we can find out for ourselves that their changes are worthwhile. Thanks, Laura, for being one of those people in my life.