Every Day is Mother's Day (but without the guilt)

Preston and Jacob gave me flowers for Mother's day.

Preston waters them for me every day. Speaking of Preston, here he is heading off to school this morning.

Jacob refused to comb his hair before going. He said "Nobody really cares." I guess that's how fifth grade boys feel. I remember sitting in fifth grade one day and realizing I hadn't combed my hair before school that day. I was very embarrassed. But Jacob is not me.

It was a beautiful morning. Very clear and sunny. A great day for allergies.I hope they had fun at school today. It's not much longer until summer break.

Ah, such sweet treasures of motherhood. I have never enjoyed the public formal observance of Mother's Day. I don't really know why. I do enjoy the family celebration. The simple gifts from my children and husband. The quick notes of appreciation. Those are nice. To me, the real thanks, the real honor is, however, the everyday sweetness of being a mother. It's the priveledge of watching children grow and succeed. It's the honor of having them ask important questions and then taking time to listen to my answers. It's the sweet whisperings of the spirit, knowing that God cares enough to guide me as I guide them. It's the everyday moments when, like a breath of fresh air, I get to enjoy who my children are and what they are doing. Everyday is mother's day, but without the stress and guilt inducing parts.

One Smart Girl

This evening we attended an honor night at Caitlin's school. Caitlin was recognized for her awesome GPA.

She got a medal, a certificate and best of all some cake.

She is moving on to high school next year, so she will miss hanging out with her pals here at Totem.

Eagle Court of Honor

Joseph will receive the Rank of Eagle at a special court of honor on May 30, 2009 at 2:00 p.m. Ryan L. and Evan P. will also be honored at that time. I know pride is bad, so I just feel an immense amount of naches (Naches - Joy: Gratification, especially from children.)

Roger asked me what I mean when I say I feel naches, so I guess I'd better explain. Naches is a concept I learned from the book "Emotions Revealed." It says, "How do you feel when you hear that your son or daughter was accepted by the best college, performed beautifully in a recital, got an award from the scout troop, or accomplished anything else that matters? We could say proud, but it isn't specific enough to the pattern of physical sensations parents feel when their child accomplishes something important, perhaps even exceeding the parents themselves. In Yiddish, however, there is a specific word for just this experience: naches. Author Leo Rosten defines naches as 'the glow of pleasure-plus-pride that only a child can give to its parents.'"

He goes on to say "Naches ensures parental investment in facilitating the growth and achievements of their children. Unfortunately, some parents don't feel naches when their children excel, reaching beyond what the parents have done. Such envious parents are often competitive with their children, which can be very destructive to both parent and child."

I don't think it's always parent-child competition that causes parents to suppress their feelings of naches. I believe that in a religious culture that tends to shun pride as an evil emotion, sometimes parents deny themselves the feeling of naches (consequently denying their children the nurturing that the expression of their naches brings) in an effort to be "holy." In my opinion, the sweet, pure feelings of naches is an appropriate, godlike emotion that parents should nurture in themselves and express to their children.

"Well done thou good and faithful servant," is one of the ultimate expressions of naches. I think our children need to hear that from more than just God and at more times than at the final judgement.

Wow, now I need to go eat my baked potato.

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My Crazy Projects

Here's what I've been doing in my spare time.I checked out these books from the library. I've been reading a lot. I've been collecting pictures of church history events to share with my Sunday School class. Next week the lesson is on fasting. I had a hard time coming up with pictures to go with that subject.I've been working on an index of the best general conference talks for each gospel subject. I hope to publish it someday and make some money so I can pay more tithing.I have been weeding my flower beds, trimming my bushes and doing other chores around the yard a little each week, rain or shine, mostly rain. See, no weeds!I have been using my neighbor Jill's fabulous secret family roll recipe at least once each week. My kids are so amazed. They didn't think I knew how to bake. Thanks to Jill, I have a new skill.I have been working out at the Y on the elliptical trainer everyday. My goal is simply to not fall off for 25 minutes. One day, I fell off at 22 minutes. Another day, I hit myself in the head with the arm handle. I have been stretching most days with this great stretching video. I've done it so much I have it memorized. Now I do the stretches while I watch Glen Beck. Sometimes the blood shooting out of my eyes gets in the way of my stretches. (If you don't watch Glen Beck, don't take the bloody eyes thing literally.) I've been eating chocolate. Yes, even though I am allergic to it, I find I can eat one piece a day. This is my chocolate box. It will probably last me until Christmas.
I've been working on learning "Da Tempeste" by Handel. This is a recording of Beverly Sills singing it which is appropriate because it is the aria that propelled her to fame. It just propels me to lie down on the sofa in exhaustion. Anyway, I like to pretend I sound as good as Beverly Sills when I sing it. It helps my self-esteem.

Good News

Jacob was accepted into the Hi-cap program at Totem Middle School for next year. He is really excited about it. He is one bright boy!

7000 Words

I really don't have a lot to say, but these photos do. Preston showing his new smile featuring two missing front teeth. The tooth fairy finally remembered to visit after some well placed hints.Our family gathering for prayer. I know it never looks this way in your family. Roger teaching Joseph how to tie a tie.

Caitlin modeling her $3,000 teeth jewelry.

Here she is with her boyfriend (Edward the action figure.)
Roger showing off his waistline. He's lost 180 lbs so far.

March Happenings

Caitlin let Joseph read part of her novel, "Angel." He can't wait for her to write more chapters so he can find out what happens next.Jacob and his Dad built a pinewood derby car together.
Jacob won two races at the pinewood derby, and he received the "Slickest Car Award."
Roger bought season tickets to the Sounders Soccer games for the boys and himself. They appeared on National TV as part of the cheering crowd during the first home game.
Preston started reading chapter books. He is devouring them at an incredible pace. We checked out all 28 "Magic Tree House" books from the library earlier this week. He has read the first four already. He wants nothing to do with those childish picture books.

Preston recited a poem that he wrote at the "First Grade Poetry Reading" at his school.
"My Dad"
When my dad
Gives me a hug
It feels like a cat's cuddle

On my body.
My dad,
My dad.

I learned that Lucy Mack Smith led a group of Saints to Kirtland, Ohio in the spring of 1831. They traveled from Fayette to Buffalo, New York on the Erie Canal. When they arrived at Buffalo, the bay on Lake Erie was completely blocked with ice as you can see in the above satellite image. (I told my Sunday School class that this image was taken on the very day that Lucy Mack Smith arrived in Buffalo. They believed me for about two seconds.) As you know, after she urged the Saints to pray for safe passage, the ice parted allowing their boat to pass and closing right after them.

Anyway, the cool thing is, if you go to google maps, and type in "Palmyra, New York", you can see the Erie canal which runs through Palmyra just north of and parallel to main street. If you hover with your mouse over the little orange guy that is above the + sign on the zoom in/zoom out bar and drag him onto the map, blue lines will show on the map where you can set him down. If you set the guy down on a road that crosses the canal, you can see a 360 degree photo of the view from the bridge. Ta-da. You can see a portion of Erie canal that the Saints used to travel to Ohio.

This week, I had so much fun visiting some of the church history sites via google maps. I explored the bay in Buffalo, New York where Lucy Mack/God parted the ice. I "stood" on the street in front of the Kirtland Temple and wandered around town. I also found out, you can get directions, say from "Fayette, New York" to "Kirtland, Ohio" and then you can change where it says "By Car" to "Walking" and it will calculate the walking mileage and time. I had fun looking at the routes, mileages and times between the early church history sites in New York and Ohio. Well anyway, it's Sunday School Teacher gone wild again.

Emotions Still Secret - From Me Anyway

I thought this book would give me psychic abilities like those of Shawn Spencer (Psych) or Patrick Jane (The Mentalist), but it didn't. So, if you were concerned that after reading this book I would be able to read your deepest secrets by looking at your face, NO WORRIES, no super-abilities were gained. Only about 30% of the book was about recognizing the universal facial expressions we make when we are feeling different emotions. The rest was about what kinds of events lead to certain emotions, how different emotions are related to each other, and what we can do to become more aware of our own emotions. I learned that anger is usually experienced when you feel that someone has gotten in the way of your objectives. (This is handy to know, because then when you feel angry, you can figure out what your objective is and find a better way to get it, besides attacking someone.) I learned that the facial expressions for sadness and agony most often trigger compassion in others, and that we automatically mirror the facial expressions others make when they are experiencing intense emotions which results in our feeling the emotion ourselves. And I learned that gratitude is a complex emotion that does not have a universal facial expression attached. I think that is because gratitude is a more mature emotion instead of a primal (instinctual) one. Anyway, I ended up enjoying Ekman's discussion about emotional behavior and emotional triggers much more than the descriptions of the minute movements of the facial muscles (which made me yawn and want to skip ahead.) That's just me. If you read this book and you can retain the details he gives, you might acquire some nifty people reading skills to use when you watch interviews with the octo-mom, but I feel like I now understand my own emotions better (which is so much more important than understanding the octo-mom), so it was way worth reading. (If, however, you only have time to read one thing, my blog or this book, pick my blog, of course.)

Sunday School Teacher Meets Historical Photo Buff

Last week, I was called to be the Sunday School teacher for the 16-18 yr-old young men and young women. We are studying the same lessons taught in Gospel Doctrine ergo Doctrine and Covenants and Church History. This week's lesson focused on Section 25 which was a revelation given to Emma Smith. I LOVE historical photos, so you can imagine my excitement when I found these gems while preparing my lesson. Here's a photo of Emma Smith holding her youngest son David who was born about 5 months after the Prophet Joseph Smith was martyred. I like studying her face, her real face-the one that shows what she went through and how she felt.

I think we put so much emphasis on the fact that six of Emma's children died in infancy, sometimes we might forget the five children she had that lived to adulthood. Though each infant death was a tragic loss, in my experience five children is joy five times over. (I only have four, but Caitlin brings so much joy, that counts for two.) Anyway, I found these precious photos of the adult children of Joseph and Emma. This is Julia Murdock Smith (one of the twins adopted by Joseph and Emma when her birth-mother died giving birth to her and her brother). She died at about 49 years of age.
This is Joseph Smith III. My kids like his Napoleon pose. He died at age 82.

This is Joseph & Emma's son Frederick William Granger Smith who died at age 26.
This is Alexander Hale Smith who reportedly looked the most like his father, Joseph, especially around the eyes. He lived until he was 61 years of age. It's fun to look at his photo next to Emma's and guess that the features he does not share with her might be the ones he got from his father.

This is Joseph and Emma's last child, David Hyrum Smith on his wedding day. He died at age 51.

Well, boring you may say (in the comments section), but fascinating to me.

One more quick story. Caitlin's school is selling coffee for their latest fund-raiser. Caitlin felt that it would not be in harmony with her standards and the Word of Wisdom to participate. Usually it isn't too big of a deal if a child does not participate in the school fundraisers, but this time, someone decided to ask each student to make a pledge to sell two bags of coffee. They had a poster for each of them to sign as part of the pledge. Caitlin declined based on her religious beliefs. Her classmates urged her to sign the poster anyway and then just not sell the coffee. She said she did not feel right about making a pledge she had no intention of keeping. The fun thing about Caitlin is that she wasn't frightened by the situation at all; she wasn't worried about what others would think about her. She was just matter-of-fact about it saying, "This is how I feel." Way to go, Caitlin.

An Escalating Dilemma

I visit teach a dear friend who is preparing to go to the temple for the first time. (In order to maintain proper blog etiquette, I will call her Sister B.) In preparation for this special occasion, my VT companion, who is also a dear friend, arranged a wonderful outing where we all went to the church clothing store together to buy a white dress for Sister B. (My VT companion's name also starts with a B, so I guess I will have to call her Sister BB.) Sister T who is Sister B's VT companion (and a dear friend too) came with us also. We all had the best time.

After we bought the cutest dress for Sister B, we all went to Sister Queen's for lunch. (I know for certain that Sister Queen won't mind at all if I tell you her first name is Dairy.)

Anyway, on our fun outing, we started discussing the rumor that the escalators in the temple would soon be replaced by stairs. I said I would miss the escalators because I always thought about riding to heaven when I used them.

Sister T (who is so much more spiritual than I am) said she would appreciate the new stairs because they would remind her that we have to put in our own effort every step of the way to heaven.

Sister BB said she would just take the elevator. (I just luv Sister BB.)

Now if the escalators are gone when we go in March, Sister B and I will have to decide if we will take the stairs with Sister T or the elevator with Sister BB?

Thank goodness for stairs, escalators and elevators, and that there is a Way provided for us to get to our desired destination.

Special thanks to Caitlin for the photo-realistic renderings of my friends and me on our memorable outing.

February Happenings

Preston is not engaged yet, though he frequently practices proposing and really enjoys giving valentines to all his GIRLfriends.
Joseph missed his drum and hit his hand giving himself a pretty good bruise. Preston finished a season of basketball at the Y and will start spring soccer in April.

Caitlin got contacts and finished writing 135 pages of her novel.

It always helps to be able to see.

Jacob was selected for Hi-Cap testing to see if he will qualify for the advanced placement program in middle school. We'll know the results of the test in a month or two.